Offensively bad food. Rude management. AVOID!

I’ve eaten in some bad restaurants in my time. However, I’m quite a passive, easy-going person. So what’s driven me to writing this – a review of the WORST CHINESE RESTAURANT I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED IN MY WHOLE LIFE?

Hong Kong House in Nanaimo has pushed me over the edge. The food they served us wasn’t bad, it was INSULTINGLY BAD! It was so indescribably revolting that I find myself absolutely hell bent on warning anyone in, or planning to visit, Nanaimo NEVER to eat at this god forsaken hell-hole, this wretched, stinking, rancid abomination and insult to Chinese cuisine.

We ordered spring rolls. I think they were left over from the buffet and quickly refried. The “plum sauce” came in sachets. I knew we were in trouble.

The egg fried rice arrived and went cold before any main courses materialised.

The meat in the Kung Po Chicken must have come from an extra-special factory. One where they save the fattiest, nastiest scrapings of an intensively reared bird’s rectum then collect it up, freeze it and bag it up for the lowest bidders.

(Incidentally I recently found a Health Inspectors report stating that their inspectors found chicken and fish thawing together in their kitchen!
www.healthspace.com/Clients/VIHA/VIHA... )

The “beef” in the strangely absent black bean sauce was off white / grey. It was about 90% pure fat and gristle.

These guys couldn’t be using cheaper ingredients if they tried.
TINNED mushrooms and baby sweetcorn in the dishes! I mean, come on!!!

I arose from my table and told a restaurant’s management that I wasn’t eating it, and wasn’t paying for it. First time I ever done such a thing.

The manageress ranted and raved at us.

“We been in business 12 years nobody ever complained.”

“REALLY! I said. Well as of tonight you can NEVER say that again. Because I’m complaining!”

(Turns out after speaking with people on restaurant forums that I am far from the first person to complain there! What a surprise!)

Then she tells me not to get angry. I’m not angry. I’m just insulted that she thinks she can get away with serving us meat that’s barely fit for a dog to consume and then have the cheek to charge us for it!

As I suspected, the anger was all hers. I’d affronted her ego.

“We been serving everyone in Nanaimo. Everybody say they like it. Now you say you don’t like it. But this is YOUR problem. It is not OUR problem.”

I hope you’re reading this Ms. Manageress. Because I must expose you as the charlatans and embarrassment to China that you are. I bet it’s your white Mercedes parked outside isn’t it? Made from the huge profits derived from 12 years of serving chicken and beef abortions with tinned mushrooms in pre-packaged MSG-ridden sauces and calling it Chinese food to the people of Nanaimo who really, really should know better.

HONG KONG HOUSE, Nanaimo. My name is Nemesis. If you had taken my constructive and polite criticisms even a modicum of grace then you might not have created this monster. You know and I know that the quality of the meat you buy in is the lowest that is allowed for human consumption. In fact, I wonder even if it is. That’s why I’ll be tipping off the health inspectors to pay you guys another random visit.